The Biggest Tragedy of All

For several years, ending in 2000 I lived with my parents and siblings in a red-brick house in Burleson, Texas, that my parents had built. I have clear memories of our time there. I attended Grace Preparatory Academy and later, Mansfield High School. I graduated from high school in May of2001. Our house had a bedroom for each of us children, in addition to a bedroom for our parents~ a kitchen, a dining room, a formal dining room, a game room and an office. Outside there was a swimming pool with a slide and hot tub. My father owned a series of Subway sandwich stores. My mother worked over-night shifts at a Wal-Mart.

My parents had a warm and loving relationship when we moved into this house. They acted like they were still in love as much as they had been when they first fell in love. They danced around the house together. They were affectionate. They seemed great together.

But over time a distance developed between them. They would try to avoid being in the same room together. My Mom told me Dad was schizophrenic. She said he would be fine when he was around us, but that he was irritable and angry when they were alone together. I never saw that side of him. I doubted he had such a side. You can't live with someone and never see that kind of behavior.

Mom eventually told me that when Dad became angry, he beat her. l saw bruises on my mother on a regular basis thereafter, on average about twice a month. She told me the bruises were caused by my father. Sometime she would show me that she had no bruises, and say that she was going to show me her arms again the next morning, by which time she expected to be bruised because she expected my father to beat her again. And the next morning, she would have bruises. She told me the beating had been going on for a long time.

One day my mother told me that my father has been beating her for a long time, and that he did so while she was pregnant with my younger sister Keli. She said that my younger sister Kara had a twin named ·'"Katy" who was still-born because my father had beaten bet while she was pregnant. I never saw my father beat, hit, choke, punch or shove my mother. I didn't ever see him pull her hair. I not see him mistreat her in any way, physically or verbally.

I didn't think my father would initiate beating my mother, but it seemed possible that my mother would do something deliberate to irritate or anger him to get him to beat her, because by this time she wanted out of the marriage and she wanted to get him put away. She told me she didn't think that a divorce was appropriate because she was adamant that kids should not be shared by parents who don't live together. She said that was the worst thing you could put your children through. She often told me and my sisters that it was best to find a man without a family, because that would make it less likely that you'd have to share custody of your kids if you broke-up with him.

While I was a teenager I would spend many nights out of the home, staying with friends, sol wasn't home as often as my siblings. My siblings told me they heard the sounds of what they said was our Dad bearing our mother, including the sounds of Mom screaming. But I decided it was more likely that either Mom was making the noises to try to persuade us that she was being beaten, or that my siblings were dreaming.

One day in 2000 my mother told us that we were finally going to leave my Dad. I picked-up some of my siblings from school that day. We moved into another house. My father was not around anymore after that.

Sometime later my mother told me that she going to press criminal charges against-my father. She said that if we don't put him away, he was going to kill us. She told me I would be testifying at bis trial, and that if I didn't say things that supported his conviction I would be responsible for him getting out of jail and killing my siblings. She asked me if i could live with myself if that happened. 

In the days before the trial, my mother. had us coached and coached and coached. She told us what we had seen of the times she said Dad beat her, and she added details to what she said were our recollections.

It never crossed my mind that my mother was lying. I believed everything she said.

In June of2013 I learned that my father had a new attorney and that the attorney had retained a private investigator in Denver. I contacted the investigator. He provided me with a copy of a statement I'd written for law enforcement in which I wrote that my father had come into my room on September 5, 2000, pulled me out of bed by my hair, put a gun to my ·head and threatened to kill me, my siblings and then my mother if l didn't tell him where my Mom was. This was false and l knew it was false at the time I wrote it. My father did not pull me out of bed when he asked me where my mother was that night, nor did he pull out a gun, nor did he threaten to kill me, my siblings and my mother if I didn't tell him where my mother was. I wrote the statement because my mother told me· that's what I needed to write to ensure that my Dad didn't get out of jail and kill us, as she said he would if he had the chance. I believed her. I wrote the statement to protect my siblings and my mother.

The private investigator who told me he is working for my fathers attorney also provided me with a transcript of my testimony at my father's trial. In the days before signing this declaration, I reviewed the transcript of my trial testimony. I have not prior to signing this declaration discussed my testimony with anyone, nor have I discussed with anyone since the trial the events I describe in my testimony.

Many of the statements I made during my testimony were false, including that:

• I knew that my Dad had caused my Mom's bruises because I heard "banging" from their bedroom when only they were in there, and the next morning I saw bruises on my mother. In fact, l never heard banging, and my statements that my Dad was beating my Mom was based entirely on what my mother told me.

• One time I saw my father walk up to my mother from behind her, grab the back of her head, and shove or push her down while kicking her. In fact, I never saw such an incident.

• One time in September of 2000 my Dad came into my room while I was asleep, pulled me out of bed by the back of my hair, asked me where Morn was and when I refused to tell him pulled a gun with a black handle, pointed it at my head and told me· I knew he was lying when I said I didn't know where Mom was, and that he was going to find Mom, bring her back to the house, kill us, and then kill Mom and shoot himself. In fact. Dad did not pull me out of bed by my hair and he didn't display a gun. As far as I knew, he didn't have a gun. And he didn't threaten to shoot us and kill Mom and himself.

• • My Mom had not "put me up" to calling my father's alibi  witnesses prior to his trial. In fact, she had manipulated me into speaking with them, to try lo see if l could talk them out of testifying in favor of my Dad.

I knew at the ·time I made these false statements during my trial testimony that they were false. I thought I was doing the right thing. because I thought I was protecting my mother and my siblings. My mother told me that her testimony alone wasn' t going to be enough to keep Dad in jail.  She said that the jury needed to hear from someone other than her. I was

lying for her. I was prepared to do whatever my mother said I needed to do to save my life, and the Jives of my siblings and mother.

In the days before the trial, my Mom told me there was a lot more about my Dad that she wanted to testify to. including that our Dad had molested us. I have no indication he did. One of the prosecutors of the charges against my father told my mother that offering tl1is testimony would be "too much," and would make it harder for the jury to believe her. So she

told me she wouldn't be making this allegation against him during the trial.

My mother's conduct in preparing me for the testimony I gave at my father's trial was inappropriate and wrong. She knew she was pressuring me to testify falsely. She knew she was using me to try to persuade my father's alibi witnesses to change their testimony or not testify. You don't have your teenage daughter harass your father's alibi witnesses. My Mom

wanted to win, and winning to her meant getting him locked away.

Today I feel horrible about my trial testimony. I wish I had opened my eyes more then. To the extent that my father's convictions rests on the false statements I made and statements my mother made that I know to be false, my father was wrongfully convicted.

One day in 1998 I recall seeing my mother after she had been horribly beaten. Her face was bruised. She had many bruises on her body, She told me she had been attacked while being burglarized in a parking at an Eckerd’s store, where she had gone after getting off work at Wal-mart. She said she was working with the police to help identify those who had attacked her. This was the first time I had seen bruises on my mother. My world crashed. It was horribly traumatizing.

A few months after the Eckerd’s incident I saw bruises on my mother on a regular basis, an average of about once or twice a month. She showed me the bruises and told me the bruises were caused by my father who she said had beaten her. She said she was sorry that I had to see her bruises and she understood that I was scared. She said she had to warn me about my Dad. She said that if he found out that I knew he as beating my Mom, he would kill me, my siblings and my mother. I was terrified. After seeing my  mother bruises  I was convinced my Dad was going to kill us because my mother said he would. Sometimes my Mom told me that my Dad had beaten her because of something I had done that she knew my father didn’t approve of. That made me feel even worse. I thought I was responsible for my mother’s injuries. I was determined to do everything I could to help and keep her safe.

Sometime my mother would suggest to me that I had seen my father beat her “look at this bruise on my neck,” she would say “You saw him choke me last night.”

I never saw my father beat, hit, choke, punch or shove my mother. I did not  notice him mistreat her in any way physically or verbally ever. Nor did any of my siblings tell me they had seen my father mistreat my mother in any way physically or verbally. On one occasion I saw and heard my parents arguing, but the argument never escalated to physical or verbal abuse.

I was told by my mother that she told my father she was working for American Airlines as a flight attendant, but my mother told me it was not true that she worked at American Airline. My mother told me that she created this lie because my father had beaten her so severely that she needed time to hide and allow her wounds to heal, and a job as a flight attendant would allow her to be out of town for several days in a row.  I was happy for my mother said she said she would be safe. She said it was important to tell my father she worked there. “if you don’t tell the same lie to him” my told me  “he would kil me, you and all of your siblings. If he finds out it’s not true(that she worked at American Airlines), it will be your fault.”  I thereafter told my father that my mother was working at American Airlines whenever he asked.

My mother told me to tell my father other things about he, her life and our lives that were not true. I lied to him often for years.  My mother created and fostered for him in me. I honestly believed based on what she told me that one day he was going to kill my mother, me and my siblings and I most worried that it would be my fault.

One day while on vacation in Mexico, my mother told me she was going to put something in a cup or glass my father was drinking from “that would get him out of our hair.”  He was sick for the next few days, unable to leave the hotel room.

I was eventually upset at my mother for continuing to live with her abuser, my dad. I wanted us to leave him, she said that wasn’t possible because he would find us and kill her, kill me and kill all of my siblings.

One day in 2000, my mother told me and my sister we were finally going to leave my Dad.  We moved out of our house. My mother told me and my siblings that our father had abused and beaten her since they were married. My father was not allowed to communicate with me anymore.

Sometime later my mother told me and my siblings we were going to press criminal charges against my father.  “If we don’t put him in jail forever he kill all of us,” she said. She told us she was going to testify at my father’s trial. To help us prepare she said we were going to meet before the trail with prosecutor who would be asking us questions during the trial.

I thereafter met with a man whom I knew as Larry, who I was told would be asking me questions, when I testified during my father’s trial. Larry was very helpful telling me exactly what to say helping make sure that the defense couldn’t’ trip me apart on the witness stand. Many details were written for me to remember. My mother and Larry told me that I would be testifying of certain incidents during which I had seen I had seen my father do certain things to hurt my mother.  I told Larry that I did not remember seeing some of the things they told me I would be testifying to. I felt ashamed and guilty when I could not remember these incidents. I was afraid that I was letting my mother down. Larry said it was ok that I testify to seeing these things even though seeing them. He said because they were traumatic the brain would not have retained a memory of them. He made me feel better about not remembering these things He said it normal and natural to not remember traumatic events. My mother told me while we were meeting with Larry that if I did not testify that I had seen these things my father would not stay in jail and he would kill us all when he got out.

In June of 2013 I learned that my father had a new attorney, and the attorney had retained a private investigator in Denver. I contacted the investigator. He provided me with a transcript of my testimony at my father’s trial. In the days before signing this declaration I reviewed the transcript of my trial testimony. Prior to signing this declaration, I have not discussed my testimony with anyone. Since the trial, I have not discussed the events I describe in my testimony or the events that were part of the criminal charges against my father with anyone.

Many of the statements I made during my testimony were false, including that:

• One time I saw my parents in their bedroom that mu father “had a hold” of my Mom with one hand on her neck and that when he saw me he “released her by shoving her to the ground” In fact I saw no such incident.

• One time I saw my Dad in the kitchen the morning of the Eckerd’s incident at 5:30 -6AM. In fact, I did not see or talk to him at that specific time.

• One time I heard “loud banging noises” coming from my parents bedroom and that I heard my Dad say no to my m0 “Shut up” In fact, I did not hear or see an incident.

• One time I saw my father with his hands around my my mother’s neck “in a position that did not look very comfortable at all. ” in fact I had never seen such an incident.

• One time I saw an incident in 2000 in which my father held a gun pointed to my sister, Janey fact , I had never seen my father with a gun that night, much less a gun pointed to my sister’s head.

• One time I saw my father assault my mother.  In fact, I had never seen my father assault my mother.

• One time I saw my father slam my mother’s head into the pole of the fence around the swimming pool in the back yard of the house. In fact I had never seen such an incident.

• I had first seen bruises on my mother in 1995 or 1996. In fact, I never saw bruises on my mother until the incident at Eckerd’s 1998.

I knew at the time made these false statements during my trial testimony that they were false, However I thought that I was doing the right thing because I thought that I was protecting my mother and my siblings. I believed that the events and incidents to which I was testifying having seen had truly occurred, and that I couldn’t remember them only because I was so traumatized by what I saw that I didn’t retain the memory. I felt guilty that I couldn’t remember these incidents and I was afraid that that meant I wasn’t a good daughter or that my mother wouldn’t love or trust me. So by testifying I had seen incidents I didn’t recall seeing I felt like I was doing the right thing and like I was protecting my mother, myself, my siblings.

Today I am convinced beyond a reasonable doubt that if I had witnessed the incidents described in my testimony, I would have recalled seeing them at the time of my father’s trial. I recalled witnessing several incidents that were traumatic for me, so it makes sense to me that my brain would have retained a memory of some of the traumatic incidents I saw and not others. Further, I recall thinking at the time of my testimony I didn’t see the incidents I was describing and wondering whether testifying that I had seen them was the right thing to do. I was far more likely to have been able to recall the incidents at that time than today, and since I couldn’t recall them at the time of my testimony, it’s likely I never saw them.

The conduct of prosecutor “Larry” while preparing me for my testimony at my father’s trial was inappropriate. ‘when I told him I did not remember some of the incidents I was suppose to testify seeing, he should have stopped my from testifying to those incidents. He should have encouraged me to tell the truth, which would have meant testifying only about those incidents I remembered. He didn’t.

The conduct of my mother in preparing me for the testimony I gave at my father’s trial was inappropriate. She was pressuring me to say what she needed me to say. She knew that I couldn’t recall witnessing the events I was testifying to because she knew I hadn’t seen them either because they didn’t occur or because she knew I didn’t witness them.

I have reviewed most of the testimony of my mother at my father’s trial. I obtained a transcript from the private investigator working for my father’s attorney. 

Several of the statements she made during her testimony are false, including that:

• I witnessed an incident in January of 2000 in which I saw my father shove my mother into a wall and saw her fall to the ground (pp. 113-114, 5/23/01). I did not witness such an incident.

• My father created the lie about my mother working at American Airlines (p. 122 5/23/01 and p 30 5/23/01).  In fact, my mother created the lie, encourage me and my siblings to tell the lie to my father so that he would believe my mother wasn’t around because she was working, and told me that if my father found out it was a lie he would kill us.

• My mother told us after our father was arrested, we could call him in jail (p825/24/01). In fact, my mother told us we could not communicate with our father in any way, because that would alert him to where we were, and he would then come and kill us.

• She had never shown me a gun she kept hidden from my father in any drawer (p. 110 5/24/01).  She had, in fact shown me this gun, told me how to use it and said we had to be prepared to use it to protect ourselves in event our father tried to hurt or kill us.

• She never told me that I had been molested by me paternal grandfather seven years before a complaint was filed with Child Protective Services (p. 137, 5/24/01). In fact, she did not tell me I had been sexually molested at a very young age by my father’s father. 

• She did not remove appliances from the kitchen of our residence after we moved out (p.157, 5/24/01), and she did not know where the Sea-doos were that had at one time been in the family residence (p.158, 5/24/01). In fact, I helped my Mom and some of her friends remove several appliances from the house including the stove and horse trailer owned by her father. She later drove the trailer to a barn in Wood County in east Texas.

To the extent that my father’s convictions rest on the false statements I made and statements my mother made that I know, my father was wrongfully convicted.

 For several years ending in 2000,  I lived with my parents and siblings in a red

Brick house in Burleson Texas. I have clear memories of our time there. I attended 

Grace Preparatory Academy in grades three through seven and T.A. Howard

Middle School in the eighth grade. My mother and father owned at lease three Subway sandwich stores. My mother worked over night shifts at Walmart and she told me she was a flight attendant for American Airlines. Our house had a bedroom for each of us children, in addition to a bedroom for our parents, a kitchen, a dining room, a game room and an office. Outside there was a swimming pool. We lived across the street from one set of our grandparents and the other grandparents lived next door.

It was while we were living in this residence that my Mom told me one day that my father hit her. I accepted what she told me as true. I saw injuries om her, such as bruises or finger-marks on her arms. Thereafter when she winced in pain, I asked her whether my father had hit her. She said he had.  I didn’t ask her or my Dad about it. I was terrified that if I did, he would beat her more, and I’d get into trouble.  

I continued over a several month period to regularly see bruises and various soft-tissue injuries on my mother. Eventually I begged my Mom to leave our Dad. She told me we couldn’t because he would find us and kill us all of us. She said if we left him we would have nowhere to live and we’d have no money. I was desperate to do something to help my Mom, “I will get rid of him for you,’ I told her.

I never saw my father beat, hit, choke, punch or shove my mother. I did not see him mistreat her in any way, physically or verbally, ever. 

One day I was picked up at school by my sisters and told that we were moving into the house of a friend of my mother’s, and that we were leaving Dad, I was thrilled. I thought we were saving my Mom, that she finally had the courage to leave Dad and stop the beating, Mom told us that Dad was in jail because he had been beating her, and that it was important that he stay there, because if he got out he would kill us. I did not see my Dad anymore after that.

I and my siblings were later told that my father was going to trial, and we were going to testify against him. I was nervous. My mother wrote a list of five incidents on a piece of paper, and it was passed around, She told us to pick three of the five incidents and prepare to testify about them.

One of the incidents that I picked was one I which my Dad hit my Mom with something in his hand while they were in bed. Another was one in which my Dad pulled my mother from a car by her hair. Another I picked was one in which while sleeping on the floor of my parents’ bedroom while my parents were asleep in their bed, my father made a fist and hit something or someone under the covers.

I didn’t recall any of these incidents while we were discussing my testimony, but I thought they must have happened because my Mom said they happened. I told myself that just because I didn’t remember these incidents, that didn’t mean they didn’t happen.

In June of 2013 I learned that my father had a new attorney, and that the attorney had retained a private investigator in Denver. My sister Kara told me that she had contacted the investigator, that she and my brother met with him, and that he had given them copies of the transcripts of our testimony at my father’s trial. My sister Kara gave me an envelope that contained a transcript of my trial testimony. I have not prior to signing this declaration discussed my testimony with anyone other than the private investigator for my father’s lawyer. Nor have I discussed with anyone since the trial the events I describe in my testimony. Or any of the events that were part of the criminal charges against my father.

Many of the statements I made during my testimony were false. Including that:

• I did “good” during my eighth grade. That was one of my worst years in school. I testified that I did “good” in school that year because I thought it would make mt mother look good.

• One time I woke up because I heard a “bang” and I walked down to my parents’ room and saw my father hitting my Mom. In fact, I did not hear or see such an incident.

• One time I was sitting with my brother on a window-sill in our house, I saw my parents pull into the driveway and saw my father pull my mother out of the car by grabbing and pulling her by her hair and “yanking” her out of the car. In fact, I saw no such incident.

• One time while sleeping on the floor of my parent’s bedroom, I woke up and saw my father make a fist and hit something or someone under the covers. In fact, I didn’t see any such incident.

I knew at the time I made these false statements during my trial testimony that they were false.  The first time I heard about my Dad pulling my mother out of a car by her hair was from my mother while we were preparing my trial testimony. She told me that Kara, Keli and Brad had seen the incident. I talked to Brad. He told me he had seen it. I didn’t want to call him a liar, so I agreed to testify that I had seen it too. I believed the events and incidents I was testifying to having seen had occurred and that I couldn’t remember them only because I was so traumatized by what I saw that I didn’t retain the memory. I felt I was doing the right thing protecting my mother and my siblings.

Today I am convinced that if I had witnessed the incidents I described seeing in my testimony, I would have recall seeing them at the time I testified. I recall witnessing several incidents that were traumatic to me including seeing my mother with horrible bruises. It makes no sense to me that my brain would have retained a memory of some of the traumatic incidents I saw and not others. I recall thinking at the time of my testimony that I didn’t see the incidents I was describing and wondering whether testifying that I had seen them was the right thing to do. I was far more likely to have been able to recall the incidents at that time than today, and if I couldn’t at the time of my testimony, it’s likely I never saw them.

The conduct of my mother in preparing me for the testimony I gave at my father’s trial was inappropriate. She was putting traumatic memories in my mind. That was wrong. I wish now that I had talked to my Dad, but my mother told me he was going to kill us.

In July of 2013, my sister Kara gave me a copy of my mother’s testimony from my father’s trial that she obtained from the private investigator. I have reviewed the testimony of my mother, and several of the statements she made are false. Including that:

• Pages 138-9 (5/24/01—I was never raped by my paternal grandfather, nor did I ever share my memory or story with my mother that would indicate that I was.

To the extent that my father’s convictions rest on false statements made in my      testimony and several false statements my mother made during his trial, my father            was wrongly convicted.

Earlier this year my mother told me that she didn’t want her job anymore and  that she intended to fall down on the job, injure herself and thereby secure worker’s compensation benefits. One day, soon after she told me that, I was called by someone at the school at which she was a teacher and told that my mother had been injured. I went to the school and helped her get medical care. I helped her get several tests and I discussed her injuries with her doctors. As a registered nurse, I am familiar with the type of injuries my mother suffered, how to determine what caused them, and how to treat them. I determined that the injuries were inconsistent with her statements about how she became injured. I concluded that she had inflicted the injuries herself.

As I considered the implications of what I had concluded about the injuries my mother says she sustained at school, I recalled my memories about the bruises and other injuries I saw on my mother while we lived in Texas.  I reviewed some of the information on a web site created by relatives of my father who dispute the charges against him. The web site contains information suggesting that my mother’s injuries during the time we lived in Texas were self-inflicted. I have concluded that it’d likely that many if not all of those injuries were self-inflicted.

I shared my conclusions with some of my siblings. My sister, Kara, told me soon thereafter that she had contacted our father and paternal grandmother, and as a result of that contact she had learned that my father had a new attorney, and that the attorney retained a private investigator in Denver to assist him. Kara told me that one day she had contacted the investigator, and that he wanted to interview me. He subsequently did. This declaration accurately reflects the gist of the statements I made to him.

For several years ending in 2000 I lived with my parents and siblings in a red brick house in Rendon, Texas.  I have clear memories of our time there. I attended Tarver Rendon Elementary School, Cross Timbers Intermediate School and Grace Preparatory School. My father owned three Subway sandwich stores. My mother worked overnight shifts at a Wal-Mart. Our house had a bedroom for each of us children, in addition to a bedroom for our parents, a kitchen, a dining room, a nursery, and an office. Outside there was a fenced-in swimming pool and a mud house. My bedroom had a mural featuring a school of hammerheads on one wall, and a net above the door that contained models of various kinds of fish.

My Mom led us to believe that she worked at American Airlines as a flight stewardess. She was gone several days at a time. I asked Janey if this was a real job. She asked me what I believed. I told her I thought Mom was lying. Mom told us she took the job because she needed time to heal from injuries Dad gave her.

One day I saw my mother with bruises. She told me she’d been mugged. Her lip was swollen. There were bruises on her arm. Her speech was impaired. She winced as if in pain. Cops came to our house.

Mom never told me that Dad hit her, but she insinuated that often. She said that sometimes Dad just changes, that she’s afraid of him, and that I shouldn’t go into their bedroom for fear that I would see what Dad would be doing to her. She told me she got migraines because of what Dad did to her. One time she said, “Dad got upset and it went too far.”

Because of what my mother told me about how my Dad treated her, I was angry at Dad. I felt betrayed by him. But I didn’t say anything to him because Mom begged me not to confront him, saying that would make it worse for her. To help Mom, I never said anything to Dad.

I never saw my father beat, hit, choke, punch or shove my mother. I did not see him mistreat her in any way, physically or verbally. He never raised his voice.

Mom told me at various times that Dad was schizophrenic, manic and bipolar. I didn’t see anything from Dad that suggested that.

Mom told me at various times that my paternal grandfather had beaten his wife and put her in a coma, and that my dad’s mother had beaten my Dad and locked him in a closet and that my Dad when he became an adult abused his mother. She said physical abuse was a family pattern.

One day I asked Heidi if she thought that Dad was hitting Mom. She told me to ask Janey. Janey told me to ask Kara. Kara told me to ask Janey. Heidi and I agreed that Dad was beating her because that was what Mom said, and that Mom was often gone for several days because of what Dad did to her, and she didn’t want us to see it.

One day Mom and her friend Mike Gamble showed me a 9 millimeter gun and how to load it. Mom showed me where it and the bullets for it were kept. Mom told me she wished my father was not such a mean man. Mom said she was showing me where the gun was in case Dad did something really bad and I needed it. I think it is appropriate to teach gun safety to someone the age I was when Mom and Mike showed me the gun, but it’s not appropriate to show someone that age how to load the gun and its not appropriate to show a child that age where the gun is kept. My Mom was trying to coach me to shoot my father. I don’t know why. Whenever I had doubts bout whether it was appropriate for Mom to be telling me about the gun, I would suppress them. I was filled with anger toward my Dad.

One day Janey picked me up from school and told me we were going to Mike Gambel’s house. “So Mom left Dad?” I asked. “Yes “ said Heidi. I was glad. I thought that would be a good thing.

I saw Mom soon after that day. There was a bandage on her leg. She said Dad had shot her and took off.

One day my Mom told me that my father was going to go on trial, and that my sisters and I were going to testify against him. One time in the kitchen of my mother’s parent’s house , some of my sisters and I met Mom to discuss our testimony. She wrote a list of five incidents on a piece of paper and told us to pick two or three of them to testify about. I read them. One of the was about an incident in which Dad yanked Mom out of the car by pulling her hair. I told Mom I didn’t remember seeing that, or any of the other incidents on the list. She put her hand on my shoulder and told me I shouldn’t feel bad about that. She said it was normal for people to suppress memories of traumatic events.

Today I’m 100 percent convinced I didn’t see any of those incidents. I would have remembered at the time if I had. Children remember traumatic events they witness.

One day before my father’s trial I met in an office building with my Mom and a man I was told was going to ask me questions when I testified at my father’s trial. This man went over with me what he was going to ask me about  at the trial We went over every question. I practiced my responses. He urged me not to get nervous. He said it we important that I remember small details. He said the big picture wouldn’t be enough. Mom provided me with details. She told me I’d seen Dad pull her out of the car by the hair., Heidi and I were sitting on a window-sill. She asked me if I remembered that. I said I didn’t. But I did often sit on that window sill, so it wasn’t hard to believe I had seen the incident. The man was going to ask me questions at my father’s trial said it was important that I testify to where I had seen my father’s hand on my mother’s just before I heard the bang and saw my mother’s head hit the wall. My mother showed me whether she said my father’s hand was on her head,

The man I met with before the trial who discussed with me was the same man who asked me questions during my father’s trial.

In June of 2013 I learned that my father had a new attorney, and that the attorney had retained a private investigator in Denver. My sister Kara told me that she had contacted the investigator and arranged  a meeting with him. She and I met with him. He gave us copies of the transcripts of testimony at my father’s trial. In the days before signing this declaration, I reviewed the transcript of my trial testimony. I have not prior to signing this declaration discussed my testimony with anyone other than the private investigator  for my father’s lawyer, nor have I discussed with anyone since the trial the events I describe in my testimony.

Many of the statements I made during my testimony were false, including that:

• One time I woke from sleeping in my parents’ room and saw my father’s hand on my mother’s  head and heard a bang and saw my mother’s head slammed into a wall, In fact, I did not hear or see such an incident.

• One time I was sitting with Heidi on a window-sill in our house, I saw my parents’ pull into the drive-way, and saw my father pull my mother out of the car by grabbing and pulling her by her hair and “yanking” her out of the car. In fact, I saw no such incident.

I knew at the time I made these false statements during my trial testimony that they were false. But my Mom had me convinced those were my memories. I got played. I was convinced these things did happen, with me there. Mom was a great motivator. She gets you pumped up. It was “We’re all in this together. We’re all going to be safe, Go team. It’s us together.” 

Today I am convinced that if I had witnessed the incidents I described seeing in my testimony, I would have recalled seeing them at the time I testified. Children remember traumatic events they witness.

What the prosecutor who asked me the questions during the trial did in preparing me for my testimony was morally wrong. It should have been obvious to him that I was testifying falsely. When I told him I didn’t remember the incident I was going to testify about, that should have been a red flag.  He knew my mother was the one providing the details that they wanted me to use during my testimony. A 10 or eleven year-old kid who can’t remember a traumatic event that had supposedly occurred within the previous 12 months shouldn’t be testifying about that event.

What my mother did in preparing me for my testimony was horribly wrong. She was putting memories in my head on purpose, to grow hatred for my father.

I shouldn’t have testified. I shouldn’t have been coached. I shouldn’t have been reminded of anything. I was used like a tool.

To the extent that my father’s convictions rest on the false statements I made that I know to be false, my father was wrongly convicted.

Earlier this year my mother told me she’d been injured as a teacher at school. What I learned suggested that her injuries weren’t consistent with what she’d said had happened. I concluded that she had lied about her injuries to win workers’ compensation benefits. She has a long history of being injured on the job, including at Wal-Mart and McDonalds.  There is a pattern there.

A few months ago I asked Janey if she remembered ever seeing our Dad hit our mother, She asked me what I remembered. I said I didn’t remember anything other than what Mom had told me. She said she didn’t either.

My sister Kara told me some weeks ago that she had contacted our paternal grandmother, and as a result of that contact she had learned that my father had a new attorney, and that the attorney had retained a private investigator in Denver to assist him. After Kara and I met the investigator, he interviewed me. This declaration accurately reflects the gist of the statements I made to him.

For several years until I was ten, I lived with my parents and siblings in a red brick house in Burleson Texas, that my parents had built.   I have clear memories of our time there. I attended Tarver Rendon Elementary, Grace Preparatory Academy and Cross Timbers Middle School while I lived there. Our house had a bedroom for each of us children, in addition to a bedroom for our parents, a kitchen, a dining room, a game room and an office. My room had a crayolas theme. There were handprints on the wall. Outside there was a swimming pool, slide, and hot tub. My father owned a series of Subway sandwich stores. He was planning to build one with a drive-through and an ice cream parlor. My mother worked overnight shifts at Wal-Mart.

My Mom was often not around. She called me often to tell me she was out of town. She told me she was a flight attendant for American Airlines. One time after I lost a tooth, Mom told me the tooth-fairy hadn’t come because my Mom had left on an emergency flight.

I never saw my father beat, hit, choke, punch or shove my mother. I did not see him pull her hair. I didn’t see him mistreat her in any way, physically or verbally. I never heard my mother scream or yell as if someone was hurting her. I never saw my Dad get physical with my Mom. One time I saw my Mom get out of bed and collapse at the bottom of the spiral staircase in our house. I stopped on the stairs. Dad said she was fine, just tired.

One day Janey picked me up from while I was in PE class and told  me we were going to the house of a friend of the family I knew as “Mikey.” We went upstairs to the attic bedroom, Miket’s bedroom. When I saw Mom she had bruises. Her face and arms were black with bruises. Her lips were busted, her cheeks swollen. “Your Dad is the one who did this to me.” Mom said. “We won’t be going back to the house anymore.” That was the first time I’d ever heard that Dad was beating Mom. I cried. I was worried about my mother. I’d never seen anyone beaten up like that before. Mom told us if we talked to Dad he would find us and kill us.

In June of 2013 I learned that my father had a new attorney, and that the attorney had retained a private investigator in Denver. My sister Kara told me that she had contacted the investigator, that she met with him, and that he had given hercopies of the transcripts of our testimony at my father’s trial.  She gave me a transcript of my testimony. I reviewed it a few days before signing this declaration. I have not prior to signing this declaration discussed my testimony with anyone other than the private investigator for my father’s lawyer. Nor have I discussed with anyone since the trial the events I describe in my testimony. Or any of the events that were part of the criminal charges against my father.

Some of the statements I made during my testimony were false. Including that:

• My mother told me I could talk with my father after he was arrested. In fact, she told me that if I spoke with him and he learned as a result where we were, he would come and kill us.

• About every other night I heard yelling and screaming come from my parents, bedroom while my parents were in there, and I heard Mom saying  “stop it.” In fact, I never heard anything like that.

• I saw my Dad push my Mom into the fence surrounding the swimming pool at our house and she fell to the ground. In fact, I didn’t see any such incident.

I knew at the time I made these false statements during my trial testimony that they were false.  I testified to what my mother said had happened because she told me that was the only way to protect us. I was afraid of my father because my mother said he would kill us if he got out of jail. My Mom told me Dad’s plan was to find her, bring her home, then kill us one at a time, then kill Mom, then kill himself. We would watch each of our siblings die.  She also told me my siblings had seen my father beat her. None of them told me they’d seen it, but if they had as my Mom said they had, then I knew it was true.

My mother told me before my father was convicted that she couldn’t file for divorce because that would mean she would have to share us with Dad. She didn’t want to lose or share us in any way.

Earlier this year, my mother engaged in certain behaviors concerning me, my siblings and our children that caused me to question her conduct and the reliability of her statements. I discussed my concerns with my siblings. One day Janey told me that she told me she had been in contact with my father’s mother, and as a result of that contact she learned that my father had a new attorney, and that the attorney had retained a private investigator in Denver to assist him. I thereafter contacted the investigator. He interviewed me. This declaration accurately reflects the gist of the statements I made to him.

The conduct of my mother in preparing me for the testimony I gave at my father’s trial was inappropriate. She was putting traumatic memories in my mind. That was wrong. I wish now that I had talked to my Dad, but my mother told me he was going to kill us.